Changing Views

reflections on privilege and perspectives

A couple of days ago I was bickering with a friend about our thoughts on the UK, she’s a staunch hater of the country as a result of being born and raised in it’s frankly miserable climate. The conversation started because I was complaining that my brother doesn’t care to see much of the country outside of London simply because he doesn’t care, it wasn’t meant to be a serious conversation, I’m a very curious person and love seeing new places and to me my brothers attitude has always been a bit weird. I always try to see both sides of coin, and I’ve theorized multiple times as to why this could be, and unfortunately I’ve had to chalk it up to us being different people. But the conversation with my friend made me realise how differently we view the world from each other. Now this isn’t a novel concept by any means, but it’s something I have felt most in British culture, because part of the whole gimmick is to hate this country. I definitely agree that there are lots of thing that leave much to be desired but to me this is still a beautiful country, but besides the subjective nature of what we mean by beautiful, it is the cultural narratives that impair our ability to appreciate the life around us.

I grew up in a relatively small town in the South of Pakistan, it isn’t glamorous by any means and despite the fact that I’ve had the privilege to see some of the most gorgeous cities in this world, I’ve never considered my hometown ugly or a ‘shithole’, which is a very commonly used term to describe most places in the UK. I owe that to a culture that does very well to instill a strong bond and identity, associated directly with the place I was raised in. None of the places I grew up seeing in Pakistan were perfect nor picturesque but I suppose beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. I have truly enjoyed my time exploring English cities, even though I’ve only seen a handful, each trip was fun and an insight into places I may never have the chance to live in. I’ve always been made fun of for knowing Guildford very well, I know it’s light hearted but perhaps my friends have never considered that to me my time in this country is limited and thus wanting to know someplace inside and out is necessary. I grew up wanting to study in the UK, it was a dream since I first learnt about Oxford university and then later on harry potter (ofcourse) but to people that grew up with London at their fingertips, the dream is worth nothing.

To me it’s a matter of privilege, because the same people that dislike the uk want to live in other (western) countries that they deem better. I’m not saying these countries aren’t better but I think it’s interesting that in conversations such as these, the conversations tend to surround Europe or Australia, almost as if the rest of the world is not a desirable place to live in. Everyone wants to retire in Italy or Greece, no one wants to move to Sialkot or Kampala. I think it’s fascinating that people can get quite serious about their dislike for England, but the second you mention you like it here because it’s miles better than your hometown, suddenly it’s ‘you actually like it here?’. It’s a matter of perspective, and privilege and a lot of people fail to grasp it’s importance.

Also since when is being curious a bad thing? I’ve always found it odd that people have expressed confusion or even apprehension over my innate curiosity to learn about a place I live in. I don’t understand why it’s something worth discussing that I like taking walks around the streets of Guildford and discovering some of it’s streets and alleys. While I was talking to my friend, we were in-fact in Guildford and despite the fact that it was her third year living in the town, she hadn’t seen one of the most common attractions it offered; the castle. Now I will say part of the reason I know Guildford so well is simply because I worked in the town centre for three years, I’d sure hope I knew my way around. It’s also a little entertaining to me that comments about my knowledge of Guildford are usually made in relation to asking me for suggestions or recommendations of where to go, what to do and what to eat, how are you going to poke fun of something that you are actively benefitting from?

This is a largely unserious discussion, mainly because I’m procrastinating and largely because conversations such as these don’t phase me anymore. I remain content in being able to explore new places, cities and discovering hidden gems because the world has so much to offer us, even a shit hole like England has it’s treasures. If you made it to the end of this very short piece, please become more whimsical and find joy in the world around you, as much as being a hater can be fun, the world is so much brighter when we are willing to open the curtains and let the light pour in. Be Curious, Be joyful and most importantly be yourself.

Happy (Belated) Mothers Day! Hope everyone had a lovely weekend! I should probably get back to my dissertation presentation. Take care and remember monday blues are only as real as u make them.

All my love

Nosh